NOVEMBER 1, 2007
I'm so friggin nervous, I can't believe I'm able to sit still long enough to write this down. First off let me introduce myself. I'm Lucy, CHGOBEARSFAN or Duchess take your pick at this point I don't really care what you call me he calls me Lucia and that's all that matters. Hold on, slow down, drop it in reverse Lucy let me explain who he is. The he I'm talking about is Zan, of course you know him better as Richie Sambora The King of Swing himself. I've been a HUGE Bon Jovi fan for years but ironically I met Richie on a football forum.
I guess I should admit here, that I've always been a Jon girl, until recently. Recent events, have convinced me to crossover to the dark side of the river of love. What recent events you might ask? Well, let me tell you. His flirtatious banter on the forum started it all. I always knew he was a flirt, and thought that was something cute about him. But honest as shit, cute is not the word that comes to mind when it's turned on you. The way he calls you Darlin' oh Lord I can't even describe the chills that go down my spine.
I'm getting ahead of myself again, told ya I was nervous. Let me give ya some background. I'm a HUGE football fan, specifically the Chicago Bears, but more recently, the Arkansas Razorbacks also. I joined a football forum to talk about the sport. I replied on a thread about Michael Vick's dog fighting charges. I ended up meeting and becoming good friends with a group of people from that forum. It all started with Sam and Kidd, or as the world knows him, Jon Bon Jovi. Now of course I didn't know it was Jon Bon Jovi at the time. There was a lot of flirting on his part, Sam…not so much. But with a little encouragement from the rest of us, they finally hooked up, but that's a whole nother story, let's get back to my story.
I became pretty good friends with Sam. To the point that we even began talking on the phone. I had asked her one time to pass my number along to Zan. I don't know how she did it, I'm just thankful that she did, because he called me. Ok I'll admit, I didn't recognize his voice from the first phone call. I knew it sounded familiar but I couldn't quite place it. Yea, yea I know I should be stripped of my heart and dagger tee shirt (maybe he'll get around to that). But then his fatal mistake was forgetting to block his phone number one time.
Oh did I mention I'm a drunk dialer? Long story short, I was out drinking with friends, and he became my latest victim. Luckily for me, he thought I was cute. Apparently a number of proposals were made, some involving handcuffs, a few illegal in some states and Canada but basically I think I proposed everything but marriage. That's when algebra became simple math and 2 + 2 finally equaled 4 and I earned my heart and dagger tee shirt back by recognizing his voice. Just to be sure though, I called Goddess a Richie girl thru and thru and definitely worth her heart and dagger tee shirt, to arrange a plot worthy of CSI. We decided to make a 3 way call with Hath's phone muted. Yup, we were gonna set him up. Did I mention we are some sneaky bitches?
The rest is just bullshit details. Let's get to the important stuff. THE KISS. Richie was flying home to LA, and had a layover in Chicago. He called and invited me to lunch. Well mama didn't raise no fool. I dropped everything and was even at the airport early. We swapped sexual innuendo's at lunch, and shared a kiss at his gate. A kiss I might add that left me literally breathless. I waited till I was out of his sight, and almost tripped and fell on my face as I tried to dig my inhaler out of my purse.
I was in such a hurry to get to the kiss, I skipped some important details.
So, where was I? Oh yea the bet. Goddess and Zan had a bet on the Giants/Patriots game. Long story short Richie's Giants lost. What was he out? He had to meet Goddess and I for drinks, when we were in New Jersey for the Bon Jovi concert. Of course at the time, we didn't know we would be meeting Richie Sambora. He knew who he was though, the stork didn't visit his mom yesterday. He was more then happy to make good on the bet, with a few conditions. Basically we had to be able to keep a secret. Of course it wasn't long after that I earned my heart and dagger tee shirt back.
While talking on the board, we let it out that we knew his secret and was able to keep it just between Goddess and myself, that is until Queenie's high school math classes finally paid off. So Zan confessed all and invited Queenie to meet us in Jersey. Now that brings us to why I'm sitting in a hotel room in Jersey, impatiently waiting to go to the bar. I've got on the agreed upon outfit, a tee shirt Goddess had made up and sent to our rooms, a pair of jeans that hug me perfectly in all the right spots, and my favorite black leather CFM boots. "Zan" won't know what hit him.
That wasn't the only surprise I found in my room. Richie sent up two dozen roses, Godiva Chocolates and the most beautiful gold bracelet that says Zan's Harem on the front and my nick name Duchess on the back. I don't know if the other girls got this stuff, so I don't think I'll mention it just in case.
I really hate to cut this short, but I should wrap this up cuz' I've got gutter girlfriends waiting on me in the bar, and mojito calling my name.
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